Caregiving and dating: people caring for relatives have little time for love

People who care for relatives often lose out when looking for a partner. That is the picture from an online survey presented on 27 October by Gleichklang, a psychology-oriented dating service based in Hanover, Germany. It polled 354 partner-seeking people with caregiving responsibilities aged 21 to 78 (average 57.3); 68.2 per cent were women. 56.5 per cent are currently caregivers, while the rest described earlier caregiving periods during which they were at least sometimes single. Most cared for their parents, on average for 6.3 years. The survey was carried out by psychologist Guido F. Gebauer.

85 per cent said they often have very little time for dates, and 77 per cent lack the energy for an active search. 84 per cent would look for a relationship more actively without caregiving duties. More than half (53 per cent) have experienced rejection or broken-off contact because of their caregiving. What respondents want from a partner is mainly understanding (94 per cent) and emotional support (81 per cent) – only 5 per cent want a partner to share the caregiving. 77 per cent prefer a relationship with separate homes, and 95 per cent value personal freedom.

For context: the survey is not representative. Participants were members and prospective members of the platform, which itself offers matching for caregivers; Gebauer acknowledges the aim was an overall picture rather than exact percentages. The results barely depended on age, gender or education. According to the release, around 10 per cent of adults in Germany care for relatives, about 12 per cent in Austria and around 8 per cent in Switzerland.