Fear, not entitlement: study describes how anxious interviewed young men feel about sex

Many young heterosexual men in a small interview study experienced sex less as pleasure than as a situation full of fear and vigilance. That is the picture from a qualitative study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, reported by the science news site PsyPost on 30 October. The authors, Jossy Forrest (University of Melbourne), Jessie V. Ford (Columbia University) and Jonathan Herring (University of Oxford), analysed interviews with 31 men aged 18 to 32, conducted between September and November 2023 as part of the Blurred Lines Project; 24 lived in Australia and 7 in the United States.

29 of the 31 men described sex as tense and marked by constant vigilance, and the same number voiced deep concern about harming their partner. 26 feared shame or personal ruin – for example through formal accusations (19) or gossip in their social circle (17). 16 described a lasting sense of shame about who they were. To judge consent, the men watched many signals at once – physical, contextual and verbal. The researchers write that the men had no one to talk to honestly about consent. Well-intended education could unintentionally make sex look like a technical risk to be managed; they recommend placing more emphasis on trust, communication and both partners' desires.

The findings are limited: the sample is small and not representative, and most participants were recruited through one Australian university. Four of seven interview questions focused on unclear or non-consensual situations, which may have steered attention towards negative experiences; partners were not interviewed. The study cannot say whether these anxieties are typical of this generation. An earlier paper from the same project, published in February, found that young men support consent in principle but find putting it into practice difficult.